It was my best kept secret, the more I ran the faster it followed in my heals.
The night I pulled the trigger it was colder than the devils heart the night was dark like the moon was clothed in pitch black.
She gasped amidst the gaping hole in her head.
He tried to remind me that he loved me as I made him kiss the mouth of my gun, he trembled as he pointed at our wedding pictures blood dripping from his face like it did the first time he hit me. He was trying to buy more sand for his hourglass, I wasn't selling any.
They were both dead. The final gunshot was the means to this very end. I released my finger from the trigger.
And then it was over. I got in and then shut the doors of my Rover.
Naked wires in our apartment had sparked a fire the papers had reported, the flames couldn't burn away my past it was sealed and heated. They only made the pain inside me sedated.
I sat at my usual spot at the alley, no one knew me here. I watched as mice fought irrationally, they reminded me of my life and how I fought to keep everything that mattered to me but now didn’t matter. To make any kind of sense of it, you need to go back to my past, back to the night the pain begun.
I walk in with the good news i leap with joy I swing the door open, my legs get numb, my sweat freeze like ice, he was right on top of my sister… my only blood… I let it stew.
I might have laughed, if I had remembered how, I cried instead that’s all I could do now. From that night he ignored the ring on my finger and put another in my eye and then it became often.
Sometimes I think I thought with my wrong head but I dismissed the thought the moment my toaster erupted my burnt bread. I was back to what was left of my home and genuinely mourned them both. No one can hide their pity glances I don’t know how I feel now I’m alone.
Here is my best kept secret I guess that i just leaked it.