I met him and at the moment even life itself didn’t matter.
When you rolled on me in bed i pushed you away gently, I claimed to be tired.
Your every move irritated me from the way you sipped your morning tea to the times you sang in the shower
Everything i loved about you i began to detest
He rocked my world, he was my sun
I gasped for his kiss the way my niece sucked her mother’s bosom
I erupted like a volcano each time he was inside of me
I clinched him tight but this time he was the one who pushed me away
Why do i love this man who treats a good woman like a doormat?
Why do i enjoy when he hits me and then makes love to me?
Why do i go on my knees each time he yells at me crying and begging?
Why does the pain feel so good?
He called me only when he wanted me and fed me fat with the crumbs from his table
He was nothing but a facade i fussed about
I got carried away by his brimming laughter and pretty face.
But nothing mattered; it was him, the reason for my every breadth.
But one day he called me and the sweaty palms and funny feelings were all gone
a new wave of power gushed into me when he asked to see me, i could say no, i wanted to say no but when he threatened to leave i found myself on his bed
This time when he entered me i felt a different kind of emotion
With every thrust with tears clouding my eyes i remembered you
He never asked for directions because he was lost
He didn’t kiss my hands and forehead like you did,
He didn’t hold me then look deep in my eyes getting lost there,
He didn’t find a solution but helped ignite a problem,
He was physically strong but weak at heart
With each deep thrust i realized i was once lucky
With each wicked thrust I realized I missed you!
As i walked home that day, i found my world had eclipsed,
There was no sunshine after my rain,
And people lied; there was no light after my tunnel
You have been planted like a seed in my heart
Your memory chatters noisily in my head
I was so into him it didn’t even occur you had left
I just realized, I’m going insane!
Today i sat on the floor of the hospital steps with nowhere else to go
Who do i know owns my baby? The monster or my lost lover
Please find me I’ve searched the world for you.....