I’m sure you would be wondering why I chose an open letter to you when the world has mourned you. I want to believe you are in a deep sleep and play the reversed role and be your princess in shining armor and I would kiss you and wake you up from your deep sleep in no time.
With tears in my eyes pain in my heart and deep hurting in my soul I write you this letter, I will write a letter to you every day till you wake up from your deep sleep
It was 4 beautiful years with you, there were highs and lots of lows but they were amazing years and I learned a whole lot.
I learned peace, patience, understanding and so much more. I learned to read the rhythm of one’s heart I mastered the language of love I always felt nothing could go wrong, nothing could come between us but death showed itself more determined.
After you, others have remained tasteless and I forbid myself to ever say goodbye, every night I dream of you travelling a long distance and I imagine running after you hugging you and begging you not to ever let go.
It’s hard to understand that we aren’t meant to be even though we were happy together but I guess its life and the lessons the old say we have come to learn. I can’t move on, I’m afraid to move on, I refuse to move on. I’ve tied my entire life to the web of your whole existence and I can’t untangle myself – dear soul mate!
Spending my whole life with you and dyeing in your arms was all I wished for, hope for, prayed for, imagined. When we talked about the turquoise theme of our wedding, the number of children we would have, the color of our dream house. But instead my heart has been thrown out like a dead rag and it longs to breathe.
I’m so worried about you now, where are you? Did you see God, does the afterlife exist? Are you in a big mansion with gold streets or are they all fantasies? Would we meet later or are you re-incarnated, waiting for me somewhere? Searching for me?
You loved me like I had never been loved; you loved me for a lifetime. You held me like you would never see me again. My smile, my laughter my happiness and my total essence were made awesome because of you.
You were the groom I always dreamed about and the knight in shining armor without the shield you melted my heart. You ignited my passion, soothed my emotion, you renewed my mind in a million ways and replenished my soul. I never forget how tears flowed from your eyes when you were in me the very 1st time after graduation, mom and dad were away and we sneaked into the pen.do you remember? How your dog lay next to us, we left him there so he won’t wake the neighbors…need I go on?
I’m laughing now but hot tears stream down my cheek. You always made me feel beautiful in and out.
But now I hide my cowardice, now I hide my pain, now people seem so abstract and emotions seem so frivolous.
I tasted the fruits of your love and I want more, I will wait till you wake up no matter how long it takes. I would stop now I would write tomorrow there is much more to say.